Monday, September 30, 2013

CUNT! Devotion! CUNT! Devotion Part 3

57 Vagina points for you know where the title is from!

So I celebrated my 75th birthday on august 20th, and boy do I have to say I look amazing for my age. My mother got me so much make-up for my birthday, I could start colouring my asshole with them and still not run out for years.

A huge Grimas haul, I have wanted to try their make-ups for so long, and finally I did! Quite pleased so far what I have tried. The foundations are so cheap, but they last! I use those two colours to contour my face. Did get a Chanel cream eyeshadow and lipstick, Dior lipgloss, Joe Blasco lipstick and cream eyeshadow.

This blog is late due to that I became very ill for the past month, so I apologize. 

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

'She looks better than a 10 inch cock and you know it!' Part 2

If you know where that line is from, 10 Vagina points for you!

And now, for the second part of my blog. Over the summer I've been quite busy to be honest, with a lot of things, and health being one of those yet again. But luckily I am feeling a lot bette now. But that is thank to no doctor though. I have never experienced a doctor like that who I went to. Did not listen to anything I had to say, kept babbling about irrelavent stuff, if I wanted to go to a psychologist and talk. Yes, that will help my condition quite a bit thank you.

I have a phone call with this doctor later about my tests, which I knew wouldn't tell anything, and he said everything is alright, this is it. The amount of unprofessionalism was just hilarious. I told him quite frankly, if he wants me to report him to the health care authorities, by all means, be a douche. He changed his tone and took me serious.

Anyway, skipping a few months foward!

I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time, and finally I saw The Knife live at the Flow Festival. And boy do I have something to say about the live. I will try my best to stay as a lady and not start cussing everyone out. The beginning of the show, my god what was this person thinking? Look at this video here, it is the person in the beginning with his so called warm up. I have never been so ashamed in my life, my god it was horrible, i was sweating because I was so embarrassed. Anyway, after the clown went, The Knife came on stage, or so I thought. Karin did appear, but olof was no-where to be seen. Everything started quite nicely, until they removed every instrument they played, after that it became a lipsyncing pre-recorded show with a bunch dancers doing christ knows what. People actually started leaving, and I was about to as well. Nothing really made sense what they did, completely ridiculous, and before any hipster dipshit says I'm not artistic enough to understand, I highly recommend you to kiss my arse.
Anyway, the show ended, people clapped for an encore, and guess what? They did not come back, not even to say thank you. I wasted so much money to see a polyester circus on stage. NEXT.

A few days ago I actually had my first alcohol drink this year, god damn, I got tipsy after drinking half a glass of cassis orange, But fuck it! Watched Showgirls, which may I add, is an AMAZING movie.

Thats about it, until part 3!

Friday, August 9, 2013

Reincarnation of the Vagina Part 1


It has been quite a while since we last saw, right? There are a lot of things which has happened in my life which has affected me. One of those reasons why I didn't continue writing blogs, and also the fact that I didn't think my blog was intresting enough or well, personal enough. I do not even know where to begin, what to say or what to show. I guess I could start with the biggest reason why I stopped writing a blog was because, as some of you may know, I had a stencil tattoo of Marilyn Monroe. I took it last year from a person I cannot name yet, even though how much I want to tell everyone this person's name and where he currently works. But when everything is over, his name will be released here and amongst other sites. But anyway, as the tattoo faded, I had to get it re-inked. This is when my world came tumbling down. He ruined it. It was so ruined it could not be fixed. I showed it to most popular tattoo shops in Helsinki, they all said it is not fixable, laser was my only option. 

I have to had it 8 times lasered off, and I have to thank CityKlinikka for their amazing service, they have a customer for life. Everytime I need a nip and tuck, I'll be at their clinic. The person actually blamed me for the failed tattoo, as this was what I was asking for. I cannot understand who in their right mind would say something like this? He payed for the first 4 laser treatments, but refused to refund my money for the tattoo in the end. I have taken the case to competition and consumer authority. But this is all I can say now about the case.

After 8 lasers, I went to the best tattoo artist in Helsinki who specializes in pin-up girls and faces, as you clearly can see, he knows what he is doing. Words cannot express how grateful I am, if you are reading this Jan, I just am thankful, so very thankful. Jan works at Liskogalleria in Helsinki, so please, go check the shop out. They all are amazing and very professional.

I am so happy all this is over, and finally can expose my arms in public again. I am already planning on getting Betty Page on my other arm, two most gorgeous women on my arms, two most inpsirational women, two most feminine.

As a young boy, I looked up to several drag queens, and minf you, this was many years before any kind of RuPaul's Drag Race, I finally met one of those idols, Miss Sherry Vine. I cannot describe the feeling, that she actually came and talked with me, and signed my DR.A.G. book. A friend of mine told her before going backstage that there is a fan who wants to meet you. She did not go to the backstage after her show, but started to look for me. I am still gobsmacked. Still after these months.


Ah, what else could I write on this part one out of three? Hmm, I think I'll leave something else for the other parts as well. I hope you enjoyed this blog entry. I think it is a bit more personal, and real, for a change.

Until next time, XX

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

when womens pussys go wild [sic]

Oh my god! Who searches for these things and then ends up on my blog?! A-mazeballs. I've been really busy lately again. So now I finally have some time to relax, for even a brief moment. So here I am, writing yet another amazing blog for ya'lls. Last saturday, my friend Mattiina celebrated her barfday with a BEND YOUR GENDER event. What would a tranny party be without me? Nothing!

It was cold as a... frozen carrot here. Thank lawd jesus I didn't freeze to death outside when I left for the party. Above you can see my outfit! And Look at that waist! GOD DAMN. I still miss my old waist, but we're getting there again!

I wore just a simple top underneath, nothing that fancy. Within the last few seconds before I left, I grabbed my mourning fascinator, and put in on! I was already dressed in all black so, hey why not?

The evening went well, had lots of fun and met my friends there and all that shits and giggles. I stayed sober the whole party, as almost always, but yet, somehow I managed to break off my bead necklace. What the hell. Also, I won't be posting ANY photos of me from the party, because, well, I look like I have had at least 5 bottles of red wine. But netherless, fun times! If we ignore the shady situations. -winks-

On sunday, I started to feel a bit ill, and it just got a lot more worse, and BAM today, I ended up visiting the hospital yet again. New medication for Miss Vagina! I am seriously getting fed up with my health. Anyone want to swap?

So, now I am home, drinking lots of tea, and undergoing some heavy therapy by listening to Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows. I don't really think there is much else to mention currently, so until next time, XOXO. 

Saturday, January 19, 2013

The Evolution of Vagina

Lately, I have been quite nostalgic for the few past days. Listening to music I used to listen to back then, and watch those old videos on YouTube. Which, well actually molded the Vagina Galore you see today. There's two songs in particular which made the biggest impackt on my life as Vagina Galore. Those two songs are:

A few days ago, someone actually searched for 15 years old Vagina Galore, and that yet again sparked another nostalgic moment, so hence why I am actually writing this blog. I'm not sure if I'll regret showing some of these photos later, but currently, I don't mind.

So, here is one of the earliest photos of me, as Vagina Galore. There are of course some others, but christ jesus almighty, I shan't show you those. I think I was around 16-17 when this photo was taken. Clearly, I had no clue on how to paint back then.

A few months or a year? later, I grew my nails this long. Yes, they are actually my real nails. I cannot understand how the hell I managed to put my false eyelashes on with those. But apparently I did! My painting skills are a lot better in this photo though. Still had a long way to go.

Make-up is much more improved in these photos. Started experimenting with more colourful eyeshadows etc. Still, at this point, I didn't contour my face at all. No highlighting either so, yes. 

One of the final photos of me taken before I moved to Kauniainen with Joni. (We both later moved to Helsinki after half a year) At this point, I started understanding a lot more how my face works with what make up, and exactly how I should dress for my body type. 

I wish I had more photos to show, from the old days, but hence my laptop's hard drive died a while back, there is no way to recall those old memories. Before I didn't really mind it, because I never looked at them, but now, I would have been quite happy, if I had them infront of me. 

I think that is all for now, until next time. x

Saturday, January 12, 2013

fat girl in heel less shoe [sic]

 Yep, another search keyword title! Quite a few people came across my blog by searching this. Do I really look like a fat girl?

A few days back, I went shopping. Good old shopping! I saw yet again this mickey mouse t-shirt at Zara, and, well, it is quite psychedelic, and I love it. So therefore I just had to buy it. What do you think? Also my new Marilyn Monroe tattoo can be seen. It is not finished yet, so I will be doing a blog entry just about my tattoo later.

What a flattering photo.

And later on, I moved towards Stupido Records shop, I had ordered Fever Ray's album there, and it was such a pain to even get this record, rude customer service etc. So as I went to look for the LP, thank god it had arrived. Now I don't have to visit that place anymore. There's plently of other shops in Helsinki.

Fever Ray - Fever Ray

Few days later, I went on a long, horny and erotical coffee date with my close friend Tuuli. We haven't had the chance to meet before or after christmas because we both were so busy, and the fact that I was ill for over a week. We went to Fazer's to have coffee and tea. I recieved this absolutely adorable cupcake soap from The Soap Boutique. Isn't it just cute?! I don't know if Tuuli was hinting that I should shower more often or what...

Today, I woke up to THIS. A trashbag thrown in MY f*cking garden. Thank you neighbour, was a pleasure to clean the mess up, especially when I just woke up. If I will find out who did this, I will personally deliver your trash to your door.

Anyway, after cleaning up the shit, I went to Subway to eat breakfast with my best squirrelfriend Joni. We had quite a lot of fun, like really. I think I'll write a blog about that later! But before that, look at this photo below. Two girls walked infront of us, and then.. One of the girls had.. Something between her legs. Someone's on their periods?

I'm SUCH a stalker.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Scent of Desperation

Happy queefidays! I hope you had a delightful Christmas (etc.) I've been quite busy the last two weeks with all the holiday shopping and what nots. And now, to top off everything, I am ill! How about that. Just got home to my apartment after visiting my parents, BAM I become ill. Oh well! Anyway, let's get started, shall we?

We've had a lot of snow here in Helsinki, I mean a lot. Seriously a lot. Snow is alright in moderate quantities. But not this much. As you can see from the pictures below.

The buses were seriously late, traffic jams, bitter people, you name it! We had it all. Luckily now the weather is getting warmer, so soon the snow will melt. Woop! (it is actually melting as I am typing! YES!)

I got the Louis Vuitton bag I've drooled after for a while as a christmas present, along with money, Agatha Christie books (now I currently have »58« books by her. 1st editions etc., in Swedish, English and Finnish.)
Also a Marilyn Monroe painting.

Icare Damier Graphite

And now finally to explain the title of this blog. As I was visiting my parents, one of my close friends asked me one day, if we'd go out. A tiny ass town, and one bar, sounds like fun! So I said let's go, I had nothing better to do. As we arrived, the smell of DESPERATION hit my face, along with dirty and sweaty men. As we arrived, one of our friend came with her friends there, so we talked and so on. I noticed one of her friends, was, well, really painted. I mean, really. But that was that, UNTIL, she started interrupting every conversation we tried to have. Everything had to be about her. But you know,let the white trash have her show. I was done.
Anyway, later on, as another friend of ours arrived, I noticed he had someone with him, didn't really pay any attention to him/her. I noticed my close friend started winking at me, trying desperately tell me something, I was like gurl, what? Anyway, as we left for Subway, she told me it was one of my ex friends who walked in with our mutual friend. I was like no way, started laughing my arse off. I didn't recognize that backstabber at all! Hi-larious.

She, literally looked like this!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Customizing my pony boots!

Such a ninja photo.

For long I have been planning on pimping out my other pair of pony boots, and now the time has come for me to start pimpin' the living shiat out of them! I'm just not sure if I should use rhinestones or spikes. Spikes are so cliché these days though. But it would look SO amazing. The rhinestones would be electric blue, or black, or both. Decisions! Difficultness! We'll see what I'll be doing. I really wouldn't be using my pony boots when its winter here so I'm not really in any rush to get them done, but it would be lovely to get them even started.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Blow-white Vagina

More shopping!

I have for a while been hunting for a white, yes a white eyeshadow. And I think I have found the right one for now. I decided to check out Make up Store's eyeshadows at the same time I went to buy some hair spray. They had the whitest of white, not overly pigmented, just perfect. I won't be using it as an eyeshadow though, more as a contour. I am so pale, so it is quite difficult to find contour colours for myself.

Now my both contour colours are by Make up Store! So yay! The White is completely matt, but Moonstone has shimmer in it, glitter!
Also all my blue eyeshadows are by them. I wish I had more by them though, I have started to like Make up Store more and more. I wish they didn't have such idiotic sellers though at their stores, I cannot stand girls who think they know all about make up when they look like oompa loompas.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Sunday brunch shopping!

Me, shopping? Well I never!
So, I went shopping, wasn't looking for anything in particular, so just wandered around and decided to check out if Alexander McQueen has anything new. On my birthday, my husband asked me if I wanted a scarf by McQueen, or if I wanted the JUMPIN, I chose the JUMPIN, because it wasn't scarf season yet! So I just thought I'd go and get it later, well suprise, they never restocked them at Stockmann. Anyway, to my suprise, they just had added some new clothes, AND with my size! So I bought a black tank top. They had it in white as well, but hmm, I prefer the black one. I also looked at Versace, found a few cute shirts, and guess what? NOT IN MY SIZE. Why is there always only one S-size? Gah.

I also bought my second glass skull (The red one) by Kosta Boda. 'Still Life Skull' is designed by Ludvig Löfgren. I intend to collect all four colours! They come in Green, red, purple and clear. I also collect Kosta Boda's brick series. I'll be writing about the brick design later on. I just love love these skulls, ridiculously amazingly cozy. Löfgren has also designed solid skulls with top hats in three different colours, blood, absinth and opium. Will be getting the Absinth soon as well.

Until next time, FUCKINA XXO

Friday, December 7, 2012

Louis Vuitton, Louis Vuitton and Chanel

Okay! Now it is finally time for the christmas present blog! Sponsored so not by Louis Vuitton.
As for years, I have bought my mother christmas and birthday presents from Louis Vuitton, and to no suprise, I did it this year again. Only this time, it is getting a lot more difficult to know what to buy for my mom. She already has 5 bags, wallet, scarves, accessories, etc. by LV. So what the heck to get her? After a long discussion with one of the sellers (who was very kind!), we managed to find her golden&wooden hair clip at the store. I thought it wasn't enough for her, so I went to get something from Chanel. So that should do it for her this year! 

For my beloved Mother!
 And what would a Louis Vuitton shopping trip be without getting anything for myself?! HUH?! I was looking for a new scarf for myself for the winter, and god damn, I managed to find the perfect scarf for myself! The Cardiff Scarf in Cris Rouge. 75% Wool and  25% Angora. So warm! I just might go and buy the same scarf but in another colour. I love it in black as well.

For my beloved self

I am again returning to the Helsinki Louis Vuitton soon, as I am getting my christmas present. As my mother said " get what ever your heart desires " so I shall!
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