Versace for H&M - THE VAGINA EXPERIENCE

Okaaaaaay gurl. I woke up at 5:40am to get ready to go in line and wait for the store to open, to get my hands on some Versace clothing! Me and my close friend planned on going together to the store, and when we arrived there, my god there was a lot of people. Like seriously. Anyway, we got in and ran towards the racks. My friend managed to get a shirt for me and I grabbed a shirt and boxers (oh how unlady like of me). After I got those, almost all the racks were empty. A few XL or/and L sizes were left for a few minutes. At this point, I saw a lady, who I might add, was not the cleanest of women. If you catch my drift. She hogged so many clothes, her hands were FILLED with male and female clothing. And she just walked around and kept hogging more. And then another hogger comes, a guy in pink and all that bullcrap. He hogged everything as well. I really don't get why they hogged this much. After a while, well I've been waiting for this to happen; two men started arguing about a studded jacket. fail. The other guy who already picked it up was just acting normal and all, but when the other guy saw him taking it, he started the drama. Saying the other guy has enough already of clothing etc. I almost felt like going to say to him, you couldn't even afford it, so why are you arguing? (He was there in raggidy clothing, so.. gurl.)



Anyway, I'm happy I managed to get three things. Eventhough I didn't manage to get two of the things I wanted. The huge Versace bag came with a gift bag, a sample of Yellow Diamond Perfume, and  notepad.

A tiny tour of my walk-in closet (Shoes)

So! I finally moved in to my new apartment, and guess what?! I have a freaking walk-in closet. Finally a place for my female and male clothing etc! HUZZAAH! So, here is a tiny preview of my fetish high heels. Do enjoy!

Left to right: pony boots(the other pair aren't included in the photo hence they are the same), 6,65 inch spike heels and my pride and joy, ballet boots.

More casual wear from right to left. Well except the 8.5 inch heels.

Pony boots heelless boots pony shoes heelless shoes.

So, I've had a questions concering my pony boots, everything from how walk in them to where I got them. Plus, there really isn't that much information about these shoes, just merely about 'oh my god how can she/he walk in those?!'.  So here is a blog which will hopefully answer your question/s.



There are actually different types of pony boots out there:

The fashion ones we all have seen Lady GaGa and Daphne Guinness wear. These shoes are also called heelless shoes/boots. Out of all the types, these are the easiest ones to walk in, hence the heel support these shoes give. (For example shoes by Nina Ricci Fall 2009). Believe it or not, there's not a huge difference in walking in those and high heels. A good balance and experience with platform shoes is only required. There are a lot of designers who does these kind of shoes thesedays, so if you're one of those who shits golden eggs, you won't have any problems getting a pair. But if you don't shit golden eggs, where could you get these? (If you are not keen on making them yourself that is.) Well, there is a brand who makes these shoes, called Ellie shoes. And since I'm such an amazing Vagina, here is a few links. I actually like how simple they are, so you could easily modify them to anything your heart desires. Hence why I ordered two pairs for myself, they are not by ellie shoes though.



My Shoe Addiction
Ellie Shoes




The fetish ones are the other type, which are of course a lot harder to walk in. Since they are really not made for walking long distances in the first place. Well, some are, but still, in general they aren't. Mine are the fetish type, meaning, I don't have any kind of heel support when I walk in them. So I walk like I am tiptoeing, and if I don't, I'll fall flat on my arse. These shoes require a lot of practice, since you normally don't use the muscles you're using now when you normally walk. But well, beauty knows no pain right? *winks madly* I am not going to tell you from where I got mine though, since I am a selfish bitch. Well no, not really, I just don't want others having the same kind of shoes that I do. But on the otherhand I shall link you to a page which does fetish pony/heelless shoes boots. They are a bit more expensive than Ellie shoes, but these are completely hand-made.


Punitive Shoes

And these are mine to the right, and as you can see, no heel support of any kind. I really cannot wait to start modifying my other pair. I'll start documenting the progress when I get my fat arse in to gear! So I hope this answered a few of your questions. But if there is anything you're still wondering, please let me know and I'll try and answer your question the best way I can.

xo

I can't go out *fake coughs* I'm sick.

Oh yes, I was planning on writing blogs about my very therapeutical trip to Helsinki, but it seems like they have to wait for a while. When I arrived back to my apartment, I became ill. It is clearly a sign that I need to move to Helsinki! Which, I have been planning in secret. (Yeah, totally a secret now.) But, heres a tiny preview of my glamorous outfit for one of the night outs me and Joni had. Do enjoy! x

Oh and yes, my blog title comes from the most utterly brilliant Mean Girls movie.

Ps. Yes, my shoes are heelless, also known as pony boots. these were the ones I talked about, aren't they just fabulous? I will be writing a blog only about pony boots, as I noticed there's not really any info about these kind of shoes, well, unless on fetish forums, but, who would want to read when an old man wears these?

Oh my Gosh! Well no, not really.

Holographic Silver

So! Hallelujah! Praise be the lawd Jesus and all that! My very first make up product review! I was really excited about doing these since I've been buying a lot of make up lately. But this first one.. Is not really a positive review. I thought that these two Gosh eyeshadows I bought will be really amazing, but..

I've used Gosh nail polishes before, and was quite excited about getting the  Aqua eyeshadow and effect powder holographic silver. Since their nail polishes were so pigmented and amazing. But these products on the other hand are just absolutely rubbish. Even though I saw swatches of the Holographic Silver, which obviously looked amazing, but then I found out that the girl obviously just poured the whole fucking jar on her hand and said it is very pigmented. A big fuck you to you for that. ^.~ The powder is just used on top of your eyeshadow, and thats pretty much it. It doesn't even stick to your skin without any god damn primers. (And mind you, I have other glitters, and they stick to my lids like glue.)

Aqua

And now for the pixie fart eyeshadow called aqua. I think they completely forgot to add colour to it. It looks absolutely delicious in the eyeshadow holder, but when you apply it to your skin, it just looks like a pixie farted. White with some blue-ish green added. Brilliant! What the hell do I do with such low-pigmented crap? Even the 120 colour palette from eBay is more pigmented than that is, AND IT WAS CHEAPER AND FROM F*CKING HONG KONG.

I was planning on buying the Steel effect powder, but now, I most likely won't unless I'll find it on a sale and try it out.

Gosh, you really dissapointed me.

Hello Vagina part 2

Okay betch, this blog will be one of those, ranting blogs, mkay?

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping with a close friend of mine and of course with my new LV bodybag. (Aka weekend bag) And as I was waiting for my friend, two skanky emo girls stopped right infront of me and started staring like fatty seeing cupcakes. Eyeing me, my bag, and then me again, I was like, ' take a picture? ' They still kept looking and I was like seriously now? After a while they moved on, and then, wait for it! A girl who thought she was just beyond fashion and kept shouting out her amazing chocolate bar diet! After she saw my bag, she looked at me if I was like trash. And that enough for me, I shouted at my friend ' let's go, these shady bitches are getting on my nerves '

I was so tempted to shout at her and say gurl, it aint my fault a person like yourself cannot afford a bag like this, okay? But I'm a lady! So alas, I didn't say anything. So we went to the cashier and all that, and as I was walking to the ATM, these two cunts re-appeared infront of me and tried walking over me, and at this point, I swore at them. ^_^ But wait, this is still not over!!

At the ATM, I was taking out cash, a woman behind me kept sighing overly loud and of course in the most fake way possible. As I walked towards her, (she kept looking at my LV) I said, if I hear you sigh one more time, I will smack you with my bag. After that I went to buy some Rosé wine for myself.

Vagina On a Three-way Call

I finally recieved my shoes for my amazing trip to Helsinki later this month. I began to get nervous about it getting lost in the mail, but thankfully a.. not so moist mailwoman brought it to the door just 30 minutes ago. I do have to say, gurl, the shoes are just beyond amazing, only thing though is I have to practice to walk in them. I am not sure yet if I shall modify them, but we'll see!

I shall be writing more drag blogs soon, well, tonight actually. The first two blogs will be about who has inspired me to the core, and thanks to these two, I am the person who I am today. Eventhough I haven't exactly chosen the same style as they have. They are, of course Leigh Bowery and Divine.

That's about it for this short update, please stay tuned for mooar!

(Christ, this blog was so dry, in every aspect.. Someone, quick! Make me moist!)

Updates on Miss Vagina

Hello darlings,

Yes, I know it yet again been a while since I blogged last, but I really haven't had access to the computer, until now. And oddly enough, I've managed quite well without having internet. As my summerjob ends in 2 weeks, I shall continue avoiding the internet, I'll just be blogging and reading and replying to emails. Quite happy with this decision really, and I think, I really needed this kind of change as well. But anyway, let's talk about something more exciting and moist!

So, a few days ago my mother bought.. a Louis Vuitton handbag. I've always been against those dreadful bags! But she still went on buying one of those darn bags, I even tried to brainwash her in to buying a Chanel hangbag instead, but no, she has the LV virus. At this point, I do have to confess.. I am getting a LV handbag as well. Shocking, yes, I know. Now I will turn in to one of those tasteless fashion whores as well. OH ALAS! But, do not fear; I found the most amazing high heels the other day, and holy sweet jesus I have to say, they are so f*cking gorgeous. I will be posting photos of them when I will get them! I promise you, you will GAG.

In the following month, I shall be travelling to Helsinki to meet a dear friend of mine; Joni. I really can't wait to meet him, been ages since I last saw him. As a fierce cunt, I'm already planning my outfits for the different days I shall be staying there. I will personally gag every citizen of Helsinki with my fashion and style. So be prepared! What else will be done in the near future.. Oh, I'm planning on re-doing my layout yet again. But before that I have to have a new photoshoot, and try out my new lashes I bought. I so hope they will work out fine, since, without them, I'm screwed. Argh! 



Oh dear, this was one of those longer blogs, but until next time, xoxo gossip Vagina

"Queef" the brand new Fragrance by Hello Vagina!

The title of course was inspired by the very famous deodorant Pussy Wind by Hello Kitty! When I do get famous, this shall be my perfume's name, "Queef". I'll be squirting my queefs all over everyone. CARE TO SMELL MY QUEEF? Its really delicious.

Today, a fat and ugly 58 year old tried to insult me when I didn't want to get to know him by sending me this very lovely message:

oh , then all the propaganda we hear in this country about how Euroeans are all SO OPEN MINDED , is precisely that,

BS !

First of all, does he really think he could have any kind of chance with me? Or merely me being intrested in an old fart? And second of all, this is the best he could come up with? OH DAMN.. I am representing the whole fucking European population DON'T HATE ME :( I'm just a cold and unfriendly bitch. GUUUUUURL PLEASE. 

If I wanted company of an old fart, I'd just pass gas and that would be simple as that, but thats merely the point.

I thought I'd just share this with my beloved readers that hey, I'm one cold and unfriendly European!! Watch out.

Today's Moistness song:
Dana International - I'm Gonna Let

XO XO Gossip Vagina

My boobs, your boobs, strap-ons and other joyful things!

Fierce!

Hello! Yes gurl, new head-banner! What do you think?! Isn't it pretty amazing?! Showing you some tranny realness! Alrighty, I've been thinking about turning this blog into a personal blog as well, meaning I'll be writing fabulous things about my very horny and moist world!

I had a photoshoot with a friend of mine near a park here where I live, and heres a few photos, so do enjoy! (I have to put copyrights on the photos, since I know theres some cunts out there who steals photos *winks* you know who you are.)

Okay, first personal blog.. What the hell should I even write about? Should I just talk about vaginas and boobs? Like most of the time. Oh? Where did I ever come up with such a brilliant blog title? Well let me tell you darling! I was at a friends party, all dolled-up and gorgeous, well, we ended up talking about (or; I ended up talking about lesbians) and BAM! This is how I explain how wonderful lesbian sex is with ONE sentence. I'm quite sure if I ever do an autobiograhpy, this shall be the title. Or even a guide to perfect lesbian sex, this would be my title as well! Brilliant isn't it?! I know you would buy it!

Oh and lastly, have you ever wondered how a crossdressing Tarzan would look like? Well, not anymore!

Shaye Saint John

Ever wondered how it is like to have an acid trip?
(Without taking the drugs that is)

Well have no fear! Watching Shaye Saint John's videos for a few minutes will give you the very same experience.

Shaye Saint John was a woman who was horribly disfigured due to a car accident. She lost her arms and legs in the crash. 

Of course Shaye is a fictional character created by a very creative person called Eric Fournier, Sometime in the beginning 2010, it was announced that Shaye had passed away. There is a DVD released about the life of Shaye and Kiki (Her burned doll), The DVD contains 96 minutes of footage. Most people describe the videos as disturbing or sickening, but there are of course those who actually see the art and humour in the videos.

Hello again!

I do have to say though; these videos aren't for the weak-minded, and of course, they aren't for everyone. Heres two of my favorite videos by this fabulous person!

Tissue

Patriotic Eggs and A Christmas Present Suit (Ooh-lala)

Shaye Saint John's YouTube Account

Paris is STILL Burning

Paris Is Burning is truly a legendary documentary about the ball-scene and gay&transgender scene in the mid and late 80's in New York City. This documentary is truly one of those which you have to watch.

This shall be one of my longer blogs, more in detail, as this documentary is pretty close to my heart.

Not only will you be getting an insight of what truly happens at a real ball, you'll learn about the houses, vouging, reading, throwing shade, and the everyday struggles gays and transgendered people go through. And of course the harsh reality of family members not accepting the person who you are.  Also during the recording of the documentary, one of the brilliant and gorgeous transexuals from the House of Xtravaganza was murdered. Which just yet again, shows the harsh reality of what kind of world we (still) live in.

Personally I think theres so many things you could learn, how to appriciate life, accepting yourself and what kind of a support you'll be recieving at a House and so on. Also, Dorian (Right photo, on the left) will share some Drag Queen wisdom.

There is a few things I have to address at this point; If you really thought Madonna invented Vouging, or vouging came from her music video, you really need to be extremely ashamed of yourself. There's some other popular pop-artist who has been inspired by the ball-scene, who I think you all know who it is. But anyway, that was just a brief side-note for the completely clueless people.

Quotes from the documentary are still being used, for instance, JuJubee from Rupaul's Drag Race season 2 used a very popular quote by Venus Xtravaganza. "You're going through some kind of psychological change in your life?". Even RuPaul himself uses them. 

At the time, the biggest house (and most popular) was the house of LaBeija. Mother of the house at the time was Pepper LaBeija (Right photo, on the right) Who is also the very first Queen You'll see who walks into the ball in the video. A few other Houses introduced in the video are; House of Ninja, (At the time, Mother of the house and the vogue legend Willi Ninja. The current Father of the House of Ninja is Benny Ninja) House of Pendavis, House of Saint Laurent, House of Balenciaga, (Founder of House of Balenciaga is the legendary Harold Balenciaga)

The ball scene has not died since those days, but I dare to say most of them aren't like they were back then. Of course there's a lot more Houses as well in the ball culture.  

This blog is dedicated to all the legendary people who passed away
who were featured in the documentary.

"You don't have to bend the whole world. I think it's better to just enjoy it. Pay your dues, and just enjoy it. If you shoot a arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you." - Dorian Corey