'She looks better than a 10 inch cock and you know it!' Part 2

If you know where that line is from, 10 Vagina points for you!

And now, for the second part of my blog. Over the summer I've been quite busy to be honest, with a lot of things, and health being one of those yet again. But luckily I am feeling a lot bette now. But that is thank to no doctor though. I have never experienced a doctor like that who I went to. Did not listen to anything I had to say, kept babbling about irrelavent stuff, if I wanted to go to a psychologist and talk. Yes, that will help my condition quite a bit thank you.

I have a phone call with this doctor later about my tests, which I knew wouldn't tell anything, and he said everything is alright, this is it. The amount of unprofessionalism was just hilarious. I told him quite frankly, if he wants me to report him to the health care authorities, by all means, be a douche. He changed his tone and took me serious.

Anyway, skipping a few months foward!

I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time, and finally I saw The Knife live at the Flow Festival. And boy do I have something to say about the live. I will try my best to stay as a lady and not start cussing everyone out. The beginning of the show, my god what was this person thinking? Look at this video here, it is the person in the beginning with his so called warm up. I have never been so ashamed in my life, my god it was horrible, i was sweating because I was so embarrassed. Anyway, after the clown went, The Knife came on stage, or so I thought. Karin did appear, but olof was no-where to be seen. Everything started quite nicely, until they removed every instrument they played, after that it became a lipsyncing pre-recorded show with a bunch dancers doing christ knows what. People actually started leaving, and I was about to as well. Nothing really made sense what they did, completely ridiculous, and before any hipster dipshit says I'm not artistic enough to understand, I highly recommend you to kiss my arse.
Anyway, the show ended, people clapped for an encore, and guess what? They did not come back, not even to say thank you. I wasted so much money to see a polyester circus on stage. NEXT.

A few days ago I actually had my first alcohol drink this year, god damn, I got tipsy after drinking half a glass of cassis orange, But fuck it! Watched Showgirls, which may I add, is an AMAZING movie.

Thats about it, until part 3!

Reincarnation of the Vagina Part 1

Hello, 

It has been quite a while since we last saw, right? There are a lot of things which has happened in my life which has affected me. One of those reasons why I didn't continue writing blogs, and also the fact that I didn't think my blog was intresting enough or well, personal enough. I do not even know where to begin, what to say or what to show. I guess I could start with the biggest reason why I stopped writing a blog was because, as some of you may know, I had a stencil tattoo of Marilyn Monroe. I took it last year from a person I cannot name yet, even though how much I want to tell everyone this person's name and where he currently works. But when everything is over, his name will be released here and amongst other sites. But anyway, as the tattoo faded, I had to get it re-inked. This is when my world came tumbling down. He ruined it. It was so ruined it could not be fixed. I showed it to most popular tattoo shops in Helsinki, they all said it is not fixable, laser was my only option. 

I have to had it 8 times lasered off, and I have to thank CityKlinikka for their amazing service, they have a customer for life. Everytime I need a nip and tuck, I'll be at their clinic. The person actually blamed me for the failed tattoo, as this was what I was asking for. I cannot understand who in their right mind would say something like this? He payed for the first 4 laser treatments, but refused to refund my money for the tattoo in the end. I have taken the case to competition and consumer authority. But this is all I can say now about the case.

After 8 lasers, I went to the best tattoo artist in Helsinki who specializes in pin-up girls and faces, as you clearly can see, he knows what he is doing. Words cannot express how grateful I am, if you are reading this Jan, I just am thankful, so very thankful. Jan works at Liskogalleria in Helsinki, so please, go check the shop out. They all are amazing and very professional.

I am so happy all this is over, and finally can expose my arms in public again. I am already planning on getting Betty Page on my other arm, two most gorgeous women on my arms, two most inpsirational women, two most feminine.

As a young boy, I looked up to several drag queens, and minf you, this was many years before any kind of RuPaul's Drag Race, I finally met one of those idols, Miss Sherry Vine. I cannot describe the feeling, that she actually came and talked with me, and signed my DR.A.G. book. A friend of mine told her before going backstage that there is a fan who wants to meet you. She did not go to the backstage after her show, but started to look for me. I am still gobsmacked. Still after these months.


                              

Ah, what else could I write on this part one out of three? Hmm, I think I'll leave something else for the other parts as well. I hope you enjoyed this blog entry. I think it is a bit more personal, and real, for a change.

Until next time, XX

when womens pussys go wild [sic]

Oh my god! Who searches for these things and then ends up on my blog?! A-mazeballs. I've been really busy lately again. So now I finally have some time to relax, for even a brief moment. So here I am, writing yet another amazing blog for ya'lls. Last saturday, my friend Mattiina celebrated her barfday with a BEND YOUR GENDER event. What would a tranny party be without me? Nothing!

It was cold as a... frozen carrot here. Thank lawd jesus I didn't freeze to death outside when I left for the party. Above you can see my outfit! And Look at that waist! GOD DAMN. I still miss my old waist, but we're getting there again!

I wore just a simple top underneath, nothing that fancy. Within the last few seconds before I left, I grabbed my mourning fascinator, and put in on! I was already dressed in all black so, hey why not?

The evening went well, had lots of fun and met my friends there and all that shits and giggles. I stayed sober the whole party, as almost always, but yet, somehow I managed to break off my bead necklace. What the hell. Also, I won't be posting ANY photos of me from the party, because, well, I look like I have had at least 5 bottles of red wine. But netherless, fun times! If we ignore the shady situations. -winks-

On sunday, I started to feel a bit ill, and it just got a lot more worse, and BAM today, I ended up visiting the hospital yet again. New medication for Miss Vagina! I am seriously getting fed up with my health. Anyone want to swap?

So, now I am home, drinking lots of tea, and undergoing some heavy therapy by listening to Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows. I don't really think there is much else to mention currently, so until next time, XOXO. 

The Evolution of Vagina

Lately, I have been quite nostalgic for the few past days. Listening to music I used to listen to back then, and watch those old videos on YouTube. Which, well actually molded the Vagina Galore you see today. There's two songs in particular which made the biggest impackt on my life as Vagina Galore. Those two songs are:

RuPaul - Workout and Divine - Shoot Your Shot

A few days ago, someone actually searched for 15 years old Vagina Galore, and that yet again sparked another nostalgic moment, so hence why I am actually writing this blog. I'm not sure if I'll regret showing some of these photos later, but currently, I don't mind.

So, here is one of the earliest photos of me, as Vagina Galore. There are of course some others, but christ jesus almighty, I shan't show you those. I think I was around 16-17 when this photo was taken. Clearly, I had no clue on how to paint back then.

A few months or a year? later, I grew my nails this long. Yes, they are actually my real nails. I cannot understand how the hell I managed to put my false eyelashes on with those. But apparently I did! My painting skills are a lot better in this photo though. Still had a long way to go.

Make-up is much more improved in these photos. Started experimenting with more colourful eyeshadows etc. Still, at this point, I didn't contour my face at all. No highlighting either so, yes. 

One of the final photos of me taken before I moved to Kauniainen with Joni. (We both later moved to Helsinki after half a year) At this point, I started understanding a lot more how my face works with what make up, and exactly how I should dress for my body type. 

I wish I had more photos to show, from the old days, but hence my laptop's hard drive died a while back, there is no way to recall those old memories. Before I didn't really mind it, because I never looked at them, but now, I would have been quite happy, if I had them infront of me. 

I think that is all for now, until next time. x

Mutual Vagina

Hello yet again my yeti-vagina-friends!

My weekend was a complete chaos to be honest, partying on friday with my close friends, saturday ending up in hospital and on sunday enjoying Björk at flow festival, so let's get started shall we?

Me and my dearest queef-friend Joni decided to go out on friday to a gay bar. I didn't drink that night at all, only took one or two sips of my friends' drinks and that is about it. Was so much fun! The theme of the night was Madonna-Night but they really didn't play that much Madonna there (Thank you lawd jesus for that.) What else could I mention about that fateful evening? Eh, nothing much really.

Blah blah blah, saturday, hospital yada yada yada. And now! For the event I've been waiting for so long, I finally saw Björk live! It was her Biophilia tour. I went to the flow festival with a bunch of close friends already at 3pm and Björk wouldn't play until 9:30pm. So we hanged out, listened to shitty bands (yay) until Björk played. We decided to go and wait for Björk while Feist started playing, and god damnit, there was a german man who was so *** tall, I couldn't see two shits behind him. I was ugh, really? You have to be in the 4-5th row? Well, not that it mattered that I wanted to see Feist or anything, still annoyed me.

Anyway, after Feist finished playing, a few people started leaving at the front row, so I kindly moved foward to the 3rd row and stayed there until Björk came. She requested not to take photos or clips of her performing, so there aren't really that many pictures out there of the performance, yet. Here is the final song she perfomed click, which she dedicated to Pussy Riot! Everything was just amazing, this is what I've waited for so long.

It was absolutely painful to get home from the Flow Festival, not only everyone at the festival left, but all those who were at the Madonna live left as well. So Helsinki was just filled with people trying to get on busses and ordering taxis. I could have walked home, but my legs were screaming "go on the bus you whore" so I kindly obeyed.

Social drinking and enemas!

Well, almost.

I had a wonderful time with Meeri, Joni and Mattiina a few days ago. The funny part is that I get so easily drunk, just one cider and I am ready to go! I guess my size and the fact that I rarely drink. But netherless, it was so much fun!

The weather here has just been so damn awful. It started raining that day when we had a girls day out, and today as well. This week was/is the Pride week here in Helsinki, so there was a huge event in a park today AND SUPRISED IT STARTED RAINING. It was really lovely to meet all my friends and just hang out with them. Don't I start to sound like a nun right now? I AM MOTHER TERESA! I love everyone except the homos!

Before I started this blog, I decided never to share photos of my male side, but I've been thinking about it, and I just might release a photo of myself, all zombified. The reason why I have never released any photos of my male side is, because I really do not want to break the illusion for my readers, too much. As all of you might already know that I am male, but it still has that mysticism, what do I actually look like?

I also have been thinking about doing a male to female transformation video, but we'll see.

Until next time,

XOXO FUCKINA

Shemale Fashion! Feat. Zola Jesus

(c) TaruaPhotography

Isn't this coat just heaven? I absolutely love it. I wore this almost exact outfit to ZOLA JESUS live here in Helsinki. I will be posting more photos from the photoshoot later on, there are some hawt hawt hawt photos coming! Almost XXX rated kind! Well, no not really, but a lot of bare skin. -wink-

I'm still in awe that I actually managed to see Zola Jesus live. (Yes, the live was 2 months ago, but still..) I was in front row with my gal pals Joni and Mattiina. We had a blast! Just before we were about to leave, finally Nika came, and I managed to get her autograph on my gatefold LP. I was the happiest shemale that night. Nika was just so full of energy, she even jumped in the crowd and started dancing amongst us. I hope she'll come back to Finland as soon as possible!

Does anyone of you enjoy Zola Jesus?

Xoxo FUCKINA

Happy New Year 2069!

I hope none of you choked on your own shit while celebrating New Year's Eve! x

Sexy Widow Outift (NAUGHTY SHEMALE!)

I am back with yet another smexy outfit!

I had bought this lace top last summer, never wore it until now. I was digging through my closet and found the lace top, and instantly was inspired to do a look like this!
What do you think?


Here and there, everywhere
The places that I go, people stop and they stare
I'm Beautiful, that I know,
I am quite a sight to behold!

RuPaul - Snapshot

The lonely girl's chips bag.

So, I was partying with my friends on Saturday at a gay bar called DTM. It was my final visit, because it'll close down on new years eve and move to a new place or something. But anyway, as we went to the ladies bathroom, there was a unopened chips bag on the counter, or what ever you'd like to call those nasty things next to the sinks. Apparently the lonely girl had forgotten her bag of joy and support, as she washed her hands. Shame, how will she comfort herself now? When she lost her chips. She couldn't really start sucking the dust of the floors, now could she? Or well... No calories at least.

Vagina Gone Wild!

Yes, I decided to get a bit inspired by Carmen Carrera. Hello!

Ps. Notice the camel-toe.

Versace for H&M - THE VAGINA EXPERIENCE

Okaaaaaay gurl. I woke up at 5:40am to get ready to go in line and wait for the store to open, to get my hands on some Versace clothing! Me and my close friend planned on going together to the store, and when we arrived there, my god there was a lot of people. Like seriously. Anyway, we got in and ran towards the racks. My friend managed to get a shirt for me and I grabbed a shirt and boxers (oh how unlady like of me). After I got those, almost all the racks were empty. A few XL or/and L sizes were left for a few minutes. At this point, I saw a lady, who I might add, was not the cleanest of women. If you catch my drift. She hogged so many clothes, her hands were FILLED with male and female clothing. And she just walked around and kept hogging more. And then another hogger comes, a guy in pink and all that bullcrap. He hogged everything as well. I really don't get why they hogged this much. After a while, well I've been waiting for this to happen; two men started arguing about a studded jacket. fail. The other guy who already picked it up was just acting normal and all, but when the other guy saw him taking it, he started the drama. Saying the other guy has enough already of clothing etc. I almost felt like going to say to him, you couldn't even afford it, so why are you arguing? (He was there in raggidy clothing, so.. gurl.)



Anyway, I'm happy I managed to get three things. Eventhough I didn't manage to get two of the things I wanted. The huge Versace bag came with a gift bag, a sample of Yellow Diamond Perfume, and  notepad.

I can't go out *fake coughs* I'm sick.

Oh yes, I was planning on writing blogs about my very therapeutical trip to Helsinki, but it seems like they have to wait for a while. When I arrived back to my apartment, I became ill. It is clearly a sign that I need to move to Helsinki! Which, I have been planning in secret. (Yeah, totally a secret now.) But, heres a tiny preview of my glamorous outfit for one of the night outs me and Joni had. Do enjoy! x

Oh and yes, my blog title comes from the most utterly brilliant Mean Girls movie.

Ps. Yes, my shoes are heelless, also known as pony boots. these were the ones I talked about, aren't they just fabulous? I will be writing a blog only about pony boots, as I noticed there's not really any info about these kind of shoes, well, unless on fetish forums, but, who would want to read when an old man wears these?

Hello Vagina part 2

Okay betch, this blog will be one of those, ranting blogs, mkay?

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping with a close friend of mine and of course with my new LV bodybag. (Aka weekend bag) And as I was waiting for my friend, two skanky emo girls stopped right infront of me and started staring like fatty seeing cupcakes. Eyeing me, my bag, and then me again, I was like, ' take a picture? ' They still kept looking and I was like seriously now? After a while they moved on, and then, wait for it! A girl who thought she was just beyond fashion and kept shouting out her amazing chocolate bar diet! After she saw my bag, she looked at me if I was like trash. And that enough for me, I shouted at my friend ' let's go, these shady bitches are getting on my nerves '

I was so tempted to shout at her and say gurl, it aint my fault a person like yourself cannot afford a bag like this, okay? But I'm a lady! So alas, I didn't say anything. So we went to the cashier and all that, and as I was walking to the ATM, these two cunts re-appeared infront of me and tried walking over me, and at this point, I swore at them. ^_^ But wait, this is still not over!!

At the ATM, I was taking out cash, a woman behind me kept sighing overly loud and of course in the most fake way possible. As I walked towards her, (she kept looking at my LV) I said, if I hear you sigh one more time, I will smack you with my bag. After that I went to buy some Rosé wine for myself.

Vagina On a Three-way Call

I finally recieved my shoes for my amazing trip to Helsinki later this month. I began to get nervous about it getting lost in the mail, but thankfully a.. not so moist mailwoman brought it to the door just 30 minutes ago. I do have to say, gurl, the shoes are just beyond amazing, only thing though is I have to practice to walk in them. I am not sure yet if I shall modify them, but we'll see!

I shall be writing more drag blogs soon, well, tonight actually. The first two blogs will be about who has inspired me to the core, and thanks to these two, I am the person who I am today. Eventhough I haven't exactly chosen the same style as they have. They are, of course Leigh Bowery and Divine.

That's about it for this short update, please stay tuned for mooar!

(Christ, this blog was so dry, in every aspect.. Someone, quick! Make me moist!)

Updates on Miss Vagina

Hello darlings,

Yes, I know it yet again been a while since I blogged last, but I really haven't had access to the computer, until now. And oddly enough, I've managed quite well without having internet. As my summerjob ends in 2 weeks, I shall continue avoiding the internet, I'll just be blogging and reading and replying to emails. Quite happy with this decision really, and I think, I really needed this kind of change as well. But anyway, let's talk about something more exciting and moist!

So, a few days ago my mother bought.. a Louis Vuitton handbag. I've always been against those dreadful bags! But she still went on buying one of those darn bags, I even tried to brainwash her in to buying a Chanel hangbag instead, but no, she has the LV virus. At this point, I do have to confess.. I am getting a LV handbag as well. Shocking, yes, I know. Now I will turn in to one of those tasteless fashion whores as well. OH ALAS! But, do not fear; I found the most amazing high heels the other day, and holy sweet jesus I have to say, they are so f*cking gorgeous. I will be posting photos of them when I will get them! I promise you, you will GAG.

In the following month, I shall be travelling to Helsinki to meet a dear friend of mine; Joni. I really can't wait to meet him, been ages since I last saw him. As a fierce cunt, I'm already planning my outfits for the different days I shall be staying there. I will personally gag every citizen of Helsinki with my fashion and style. So be prepared! What else will be done in the near future.. Oh, I'm planning on re-doing my layout yet again. But before that I have to have a new photoshoot, and try out my new lashes I bought. I so hope they will work out fine, since, without them, I'm screwed. Argh! 



Oh dear, this was one of those longer blogs, but until next time, xoxo gossip Vagina

"Queef" the brand new Fragrance by Hello Vagina!

The title of course was inspired by the very famous deodorant Pussy Wind by Hello Kitty! When I do get famous, this shall be my perfume's name, "Queef". I'll be squirting my queefs all over everyone. CARE TO SMELL MY QUEEF? Its really delicious.

Today, a fat and ugly 58 year old tried to insult me when I didn't want to get to know him by sending me this very lovely message:

oh , then all the propaganda we hear in this country about how Euroeans are all SO OPEN MINDED , is precisely that,

BS !

First of all, does he really think he could have any kind of chance with me? Or merely me being intrested in an old fart? And second of all, this is the best he could come up with? OH DAMN.. I am representing the whole fucking European population DON'T HATE ME :( I'm just a cold and unfriendly bitch. GUUUUUURL PLEASE. 

If I wanted company of an old fart, I'd just pass gas and that would be simple as that, but thats merely the point.

I thought I'd just share this with my beloved readers that hey, I'm one cold and unfriendly European!! Watch out.

Today's Moistness song:
Dana International - I'm Gonna Let

XO XO Gossip Vagina

My boobs, your boobs, strap-ons and other joyful things!

Fierce!

Hello! Yes gurl, new head-banner! What do you think?! Isn't it pretty amazing?! Showing you some tranny realness! Alrighty, I've been thinking about turning this blog into a personal blog as well, meaning I'll be writing fabulous things about my very horny and moist world!

I had a photoshoot with a friend of mine near a park here where I live, and heres a few photos, so do enjoy! (I have to put copyrights on the photos, since I know theres some cunts out there who steals photos *winks* you know who you are.)

Okay, first personal blog.. What the hell should I even write about? Should I just talk about vaginas and boobs? Like most of the time. Oh? Where did I ever come up with such a brilliant blog title? Well let me tell you darling! I was at a friends party, all dolled-up and gorgeous, well, we ended up talking about (or; I ended up talking about lesbians) and BAM! This is how I explain how wonderful lesbian sex is with ONE sentence. I'm quite sure if I ever do an autobiograhpy, this shall be the title. Or even a guide to perfect lesbian sex, this would be my title as well! Brilliant isn't it?! I know you would buy it!

Oh and lastly, have you ever wondered how a crossdressing Tarzan would look like? Well, not anymore!